Susan's Tribute to her Dad

It is hard to sum up a lifetime on earth in just a few words; for Joe, he would say “I did it my way, all the time, right till the end.” Few people can lay claim to that statement.  He lived for 85 years, the captain of his own destiny. He was healthy and strong, for the most part, until the end when, first his legs, then his heart, gave out.  He had mowed the lawn about a week before he was hospitalized; he was out driving, getting his hair cut, going to the movies to see Clint Eastwood in Gran Torino and doing his banking.

 

He loved his home and the central command seat was the couch where he controlled the television through the remote; shouted to Mare to answer the telephone; or announced that there was someone at the door. He watched for the mailman everyday and walked out to get his mail. He didn’t like any ‘half-ass holidays’ when the mail was not delivered or the NYSE closed.

 

He never opened Mare’s mail and she didn’t open his. While he was hospitalized she put his mail on the end table as always, waiting for him to come home to open it.  They had a thing about privacy—he never ever opened her pocketbook and she wouldn’t think of opening his wallet.

 

They each have strong, independent personalities—you had to be strong to live with Joe—and each pursued their own interests and fulfilled their own responsibilities.

 

He was the bread-winner and financially supported the family and the household. He knew and trusted Mare to be a smart financial partner. He also expected  her to look her best at all times, which she did, and he was proud of his ‘slim blond beauty.’

 

He served in the Merchant Marines, traveling around the world.  He served on the ships Zarembo, Robert Luckenbach, Jeb Stuart, Henry S Grove and Golden Eagle. This proved helpful later on when he completed the Sunday newspaper crossword puzzle, knowing the names of distant rivers, oceans, and country capitals.

 

 He worked 42 years at the power plant in West Springfield as a second class stationary engineer, generating electricity.  He worked overtime when it was requested, putting in 12 hour days. His supervisor said Joe never called in sick… except when his horse was sick. He was involved in negotiating union contracts and successfully negotiated better and safer working conditions and benefits for employees and their dependents.

 

He worked for his Uncle Albert, moving houses and jacking up churches and other buildings, very hard labor, to earn extra money. 

 

He was a saver and a wise spender. He bought what he wanted and never bought on the cheap. He always bought new cars, cash.  Never had a charge card—when he ordered a horse sulky on the telephone using Mare’s credit card—the credit card company called her to verify that it was legit, as the item and the amount were outside of her typical spending!

 

He invested in the stock market and made money. In the early days he invested in Bethlehem Steel and Shenley Whiskey. He once took the family on an educational trip to the New York Stock Exchange.  Later, he invested in Sun Microsystems and when he made a boatload of money on that investment, he bought Mare her red Ford Taurus SHO, with a spoiler bar, cash.

 

While he was the bread winner, Mare raised the children, ran the household, and cooked the meals. Her central command center was the stove. In fact when Mare visited Joe in the hospital, he asked her how she was getting on with the stove.

 

His biggest expectation was that food was on the table when he wanted it.  She cooked everyday and dinner was the highlight of his day and the dessert and coffee that followed.  It was as if WW III started when she switched from whole to 2% milk. He didn’t like that at all! When Mare took Chinese cooking lessons with Sally Germano, Joe remarked to Ray Germano, “Yeah and now I have to eat that crap.” He liked his meat and potatoes, and gravy. He put whipped cream on every dessert she made—chocolate pudding, apple pie, chocolate cake, and blueberry pie.

 

There was always a dog at home—Skunky and Yogi, both pound puppies. Later on, he bought AKC toy poodles, the first one a black male, Clancy and then a grey female, Candy. Joe and Mare watched Casey, Susan’s dog, every work day, for 14years while Susan was at work and they became very attached to Casey. He was saddened when Susan had to put Casey down.

 

Joe owned two bars in Springfield—he was a self-taught, successful business man.  Mare was happy when he sold the bar; and they took a lovely cruise to 7 Caribbean islands.

 

His next ‘enterprise’ was horses. He was not a gambler as many people think; he was a horseman. He owned, bred, trained and raced pacers. He started out by ‘claiming’ winning horses in Claim Races and then went on to purchase well-bred horses to breed. When looking through old photos, there are more photos of Joe with his horses than with anyone else. His horses won many races and awards. When we visited him in the hospital, and we awakened him from a dream, he asked Mare if they still owned horses.

 

Joe was proud of his children’s educational accomplishments and business success.

He took pride in his sons’ Jimmy and Danny’s success in their package store and bar business. He was excited when an article about Susan’s soap-making business ran in the Springfield Republican’s business section.

 

Of his children, only Jimmy married and had children. He loved and respected his daughter in law, Eleanor, and especially loved her Christmas dinners with prime rib and delicious desserts. He loved each of his grand children—Karen, Katie, and Dan—and was so proud of them and their spouses, Scott, Chris, and Andrea—their educational achievements and their careers—and that they all had become home-owners. And, then they became parents themselves, making him and Mare great-grandparents of Lauren, Owen, Nina, Donovan, and Griffin.  Jeanne became a daughter-in-law and her daughter and son in law, Erica and Dave, and their 2 sons, Colin and Gavin became part of the family.

 

Joe held strong beliefs about people and conduct—he believed you are responsible for yourself and you do not rely on government for support. He thought all politicians were ‘corrupt to the core’; and he kept his eye on them, watching scores of news shows on television and reading the newspaper everyday.

 

Even though he was self- taught, he believed strongly in education and criticized the dummying-down of today’s school requirements. He believed in God, but was not religious. However, once when 2 young teens tried to break into Susan’s car to steal the stereo speakers, he said he “would teach them religion, if he caught them’!

 

He believed in hard work, saving and planning- ‘you can have everything you want; you just have to work for it.’

 

Joe did have everything he wanted—a loving wife, satisfying work, interesting pursuits into the business world and the horse racing and breeding culture, financial prosperity, a beautiful home, good health, children and grand children and even great-children. He would say, finally, triumphantly, “I did it my way, all the time, right to the end.”